Jobs

I feel very un-hireable right now. While just scraping by at starbones has been ok - minimum wage isn't my favourite and I would like to be able to pay off my phone bill. Which I get called about every 5 minutes by Rogers. Thanks a lot crappy cell phone company.

Man life is complicated.

Real Change?

So I am gonna take some time out of my lovely night of reading "The Time Travellers Wife" while simultaneously reading "The Wedding Book" with my fiancee to write to you guys.

So the entire facebook world has erupted into one giant tidal wave of activism. Or so they think.

With the Haiti tragedy and the breast cancer awareness bra-status-fiasco people have just been fired up over all the change they've been causing lately. But I'd like to try and get you to stop and think if this is REALLY causing change at all.

Heres a scenario to explain it: So Theo has decided to put his status as "help stop the awful slaughter in Washington. Every day over 30 Americans are swallowed by Obama and his insatiable campaign for cannibalism". (what a cause...haha) and all of his friends read this and think "wow thats messed up! I should inform people as well!" (and then make a hilarious White House joke) and suddenly all of facebook has statuses about Obama. But really - other than people being aware of what is going on, has anything changed? No. They say that knowledge is power but I would argue that knowledge, without WISDOM, is worthless.

And that brings us to where we are now. A catastrophe on our hands. Their is plenty of knowledge - but do you know anyone who has donated? Have you donated? Are you effecting real change or are you just posting a facebook status expecting someone else to go over and help or open their wallet?

But EVEN worse is the breast cancer awareness status update fiasco. If the goal is awareness - why is your status so damn vague? Don't you want EVERYONE to know so they can donate? These are both such worthy causes but the general complacency of people our age causes us to think that just by a status we are changing the world. If only Che had facebook right?

I know this is a controversial topic and people love to fight me on this one because if I am right....well then both of us are guilty of sitting back and watching the horror in Haiti.

"Suddenly that facebook status isnt doing much to relieve my conscience..."

Death Takes Many Forms Even While Alive

Sorry I've been out of blogging shape for so long.....I've been busy with my week in Edmonton and the holidays in general. Pretty sure my stay with G made me gain 10 pounds....oh well. Tons of fun and I'll do a proper holiday blog soon. Here are some thoughts. Rapido y furiosa.

With the recent loss of my aunt I've been thinking about death lately. I feel like the song 'Benjamin' is a good place for anyone to start on this topic. Its written by Sanctus Real and I'll include some lyrics because theyre much more eloquent than I could ever be. I recommend youtube-ing it. It gives me chills.

Rain falls outside
I think the sky must know whats happening tonight
Children born while fathers die
It's the circle of life that we all live in time

We've been friends for a long, long time
So if you can't talk, just cry
And know that we can talk on the other side

It's bitter cold outside
But the sun still shines 'cause we can feel it
Benjamin, you mark the life that was left behind
We see him in your eyes

And we will be friends for a long, long time
So until you can talk, just cry
And know that we will be friends for the rest of our lives

Today at work - while going about some repetitive task I had the thought "if I died today I would not be sad about it. If anything would make me sad, it would be the thought of the pain those I left behind would go through." this thought in general worries me. My life is hardly a 100mph thrill ride but I'd like to believe it has value. All life has value but my subconscious seems not to be convinced.

Now on to another heavy topic - lost friendship. In the last 2 weeks I have watched 2 different friendships dissolve - both of them friends I held close to my heart. I do not recycle friends or do the whole social butterfly thing so it has had an impact. I am not quite sure how I feel though....I'm not sure I would want either friendship back. One case is explained below but for the other its much more complicated. A great person, albeit flawed. I can't explain what went on without revealing names and situations so I have to kind of leave you guys hanging on details. Every part of me wanted to apologize for making a choice to stand by a friend and leave another to fight their own battles but in the incredibly complicated situation I felt I did the right thing. Like I said, I wanted to apologize but couldn't do it sincerely. How could I look one of my best friends in the eye and say I was sorry for a decision that I felt like I HAD to make in order to be able to look at myself in the mirror. At the end of the day I would rather be completely alone and be able to look in the mirror and see something genuine...completely fucked up but genuine, then be surrounded by friends and keep secrets and lie to myself.

Maybe my next blog should be on why I put such a high value on being genuine.

It doesnt often help me out in life.

Love you guys - hope your still reading.

"Please don't worry - I am doing fine.

Your much too busy to even find the time.

So use your chemicals and take them to your grave."

To West. Sorry, but the friendships done. Not even you know who you are anymore.