...As A Kite

So I am not feeling very well. I have about 5 brands of cough medicine in me and I'm feeling very high. So lets see what deep things cough medicine brings out of me.

First off: hockey is now done for half a month. that makes me a little bit sad, but a couple of us went out for drinks and it was pretty fun, so theres a good chance of making some BFF's in the new year.

Second: Jordan I'm very sorry I neglected you in my blog post. I'm very excited to see you and we need to go for a night drive.

Third: My sister and I have been playing a lot of xbox together lately which has been good. She has been cool enough to go out and buy Left 4 Dead 2 so we could play online. It makes me feel nerdy, but at the same time I think it's not so bad because in reality its just an excuse I use to keep in touch with her. So I think its sentimental.

Fourth: I called in sick to work today and they refused. They just said "no. no one can cover so your coming in" that seems strange. is that legal? That is less strange than my landlord coming into our apartment without knocking while I was sleeping this morning. I woke up to a vision of him in my hallway holding a shower rod. I think he could be a rapist or a murderer. I want to leave my apartment :(

Life As A Hustla'

I've had so many moments of theosophy in the last week that it's hard to pick just one to talk about. So here comes theosophy: FAST AND FURIOUS!

-the general thought about life is that if your just surviving, your life isn't good. I'm really wondering if this is the truth. I imagine that even if everyday I woke up, travelled into the forest - caught my meals of the day and then returned home, there would still be things to live for. I just think of something as beautiful as a rain drop sitting on a leaf or the stars at night and can't imagine its possible to just "survive". These are the things you think about when you just make enough to pay the bills at Starbucks.

-today I did some hustlin'. (hence the name of this blog) Best Buy was working against me but I was determined to get Raisa Super Mario Bros Wii for christmas. And I pulled it off. I ended up having to trade in a couple of my games to get it, but I did it after a long day of searching. And that brings me to my point which is that love is not a feeling. It's not something your born into and it's not a word you get to say on your 6 month anniversary. Love is making a choice to put someone else ahead of yourself and you have to make that choice every single day.

So for my floor hockey update of the week - I scored two goals and notched either 3 or 4 assists this week. 6 point week? thats pretty sick!!! I kept getting energy, even after I hit the point of exhaustion, from God knows where. I dedicate both of those goals to the "ham"mer. I neglected to mention him, when in reality he's a friend that I could never afford to lose. For the record, this is the first time I ever dedicated ALL of my goals to one person. I dont foresee it ever happening again. Love you hamiltoe.

Home Is Where The ______ Is

So at floor hockey tonight I had my first loss. In quite a disappointing night I registered no points - NOT EVEN AN ASSIST, and felt like a peg leg on the gnarly pirate crew that is our floor hockey team. Oh well.....more motivation to run harder this week.

So I had talks with my family about coming home for christmas and it was all going well until my sister wrapped the car around a tree after having slid through an ice patch. When I first heard about it I was so worried - heres a girl I would literally give my life for and she may have just lost hers, but it ended up that she walked away from it and is ok. But somehow in all the stress and confusion, my christmas invitation was revoked (and then reinstated, but its all very confusing and I dont quite understand it) and my hopes of being home for christmas were crushed. Through a couple of ensuing emails/phone calls with my parents, a lot of hurtful things were said and it all cumulated with me just having to say "I'm done. Cant do this anymore". Now this has been a very hard thing for me to do....I mean theyre my parents, but honestly, the sadness and pain that they caused me EVERY time we talked just wasn't worth it. I couldn't take it anymore.

So I've been really thinking about where to go from here. A family is kind of like the Robin to your Batman, you don't realize you need them until some goon gets both your arms behind your back and you need someone who will kick him in the jewels. This is the conclusion I've reached: my brothers and sister will always be there. We have looked out for eachother since we were little and that will never stop. My third brother, best friend, and best man Mr. Glendon will be there the day I die - or more likely I'll be there for him when he overdoses on BBQ pork buns and ends up in the hospital. And to round out my family, I have friends I know won't ever fail me: Faith, Sam, Brit West. You guys have listened to all my complaining and sent me encouraging notes on my wall through the move. And last but not least my wifey - ms Raisa Ruiz. (p.s. not actually my wifey yet) but this girl gets to hear all this stuff in person, so I'm gonna leave it at I love her and shes amazing.

Thanks guys, Love you all and hope you know I think of you often. (even if your not family - you are still important. Im talking bout you Furgy Furg)